Lizzie's diary 2nd August 2008

This week I have handed over even more control. As I hadn't gained sufficient weight, they were encouraging me to reconsider inpatient care, but the thought of shared bathrooms and not sleeping in my own bed was just too awful. So as a compromise, I have decided to go in every day (as opposed to 4 days a week) and to stay for all meals (rather than leave after afternoon snack).

The days are quite well organised - more CBT than basket-weaving thank the lord. I get there for breakfast (8.15) which started off as a cup of cereal (mealplan "B") with 150ml milk and has progressed to a mug of cereal with 200ml milk plus 2 pieces of toast. Then we have a group - something like self-esteem, nutrition or body-image followed by mid-morning snack (which might be a couple of chocolate digestives, a chocolate bar, cereal bar, banana, piece of cake and a drink - they are quite restrictive on fluid intake and I spend half my time absolutely gasping). Then before lunch there is time for us to meet with our individual therapists or with the dietician. Lunch is at 12.30 and is pretty standard institutionalised stuff but not too bad. I have really struggled with the quantities and did a runner the first day I was presented with a full portion so am now back to half-portions and make up the deficit at other times. Each meal is followed by a rest-period during which we have to sit around and try not to expend any energy - no mean feat when most of us are used to being on the go all the time. Another group - either art, gardening, creative writing or yoga - takes us up to the next feeding time (15.30 snack - along the same lines as the morning one). Dinner is at 18.00 and is generally lighter than lunch. Then it is home sweet home, night-time snack and straight into the land of nod. So there you go, my week in a nutshell.