Lizzie's diary, 26th February 2008

Diary entry: 26th February
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The window cleaner asked how my fundraising was going – apparently there was a piece in last week’s Banbury Guardian about it. I’m not sure I like being recognized for this – maybe it was a mistake after all. Barry was pee-ed off last week as he doesn’t like his patients commenting on it and being “famous for being married to an anorexic.” Well, if I continue to get over it, perhaps he’ll be happier to be famous for being married to a recovered one.
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I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar
Nikky just phoned, hot off the slopes. It is lovely to know she is thinking of me. I miss her. She is one of the first true friends I have had.
Some of the nicest times recently have been with her – and all of them ostensibly very ordinary. Giggling like school girls over absolutely nothing, making salami puffs while she got ready to go out, her bringing me a consignment of cheesecakes without being asked. Just kind, thoughtful things that you (or rather I) don’t expect people to do. The kind of things that I do (and enjoy doing) for others but don’t feel I merit having done for me. The only way to have a friend is to be one.
I just hope I don’t do anything to ruin it.
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Mummy Stas has also been an enormous comfort to me, her constant, unquestioning, unconditional support and love have helped me so much. It has made me realize though that it is not so much ones friends’ help that helps us, as the confidence of their help. I read a lovely quote by someone called Dag Hammarskjold (no, I’ve never heard of him either) that friendship needs no words – it is solitude delivered from loneliness. How true.
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I suppose I should write something about my appointment yesterday. I think Nicky Boughton is ok with me carrying on like this, but has emphasized the importance of increasing the calorie intake in order to maintain the weight gain, something which Hannah and I need to address when she gets back. But having spent the best part of an hour analyzing what is going wrong, I cannot brings myself to think about it anymore.