Diary entry: 18th February
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Apologies for the hiatus. So much to say but so few words. Who is going to invent a pause button for life?
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I’m a bit worried. Hannah is going away at the end of this week and I’m not sure how I am going to cope without the nagging! Although I completely understand that she has her own life, I do need her. I need her support at the moment; I’m not ready to take over yet. It would be very easy to reassure her that I’m doing fine on my own, but I would be lying. I can’t pretend. This is too important to risk just because I’m scared of appearing needy and demanding. Although I think I can do it on my own, I’m not sure. It is now “lunchtime”. Barry has gone back to London and I haven’t heard from Hannah since I texted her yesterday. What should I do? Call her and tell her how let down and disappointed I’m feeling? Make myself a sandwich and try to eat it on my own? I’ve got to do it sometime. I’m just not ready yet. I’m not sure I can. I just hope she contacts me.
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I’m a bit worried. Hannah is going away at the end of this week and I’m not sure how I am going to cope without the nagging! Although I completely understand that she has her own life, I do need her. I need her support at the moment; I’m not ready to take over yet. It would be very easy to reassure her that I’m doing fine on my own, but I would be lying. I can’t pretend. This is too important to risk just because I’m scared of appearing needy and demanding. Although I think I can do it on my own, I’m not sure. It is now “lunchtime”. Barry has gone back to London and I haven’t heard from Hannah since I texted her yesterday. What should I do? Call her and tell her how let down and disappointed I’m feeling? Make myself a sandwich and try to eat it on my own? I’ve got to do it sometime. I’m just not ready yet. I’m not sure I can. I just hope she contacts me.
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I decided that rather than get into a state waiting to see if she was going to, I would give her a little nudge in the form of an “are you ok?” text. Whether or not she had intended to come became irrelevant – she did, and we had lunch. Sorted.
I decided that rather than get into a state waiting to see if she was going to, I would give her a little nudge in the form of an “are you ok?” text. Whether or not she had intended to come became irrelevant – she did, and we had lunch. Sorted.
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I’m in a bit of a quandary. I’m nervous about getting weighed tomorrow. What happens if I haven’t gained as much weight this week? Maybe I should put it off until Wednesday. Although the week started off really well, the weekend wasn’t as good as it could have been. I really tried to stick to what I knew I had to do, but it was not wholly successful. But on the other hand, it might have been. That is the problem, I don’t know. Whereas I should be able to calculate what I have done and make a reasonable judgment as to how much I will have gained, I can’t. And it is my own fault for allowing myself to upset the routine. So do I stick to Tuesday weighing or do I give myself a day to get back into the swing of things?
I’m in a bit of a quandary. I’m nervous about getting weighed tomorrow. What happens if I haven’t gained as much weight this week? Maybe I should put it off until Wednesday. Although the week started off really well, the weekend wasn’t as good as it could have been. I really tried to stick to what I knew I had to do, but it was not wholly successful. But on the other hand, it might have been. That is the problem, I don’t know. Whereas I should be able to calculate what I have done and make a reasonable judgment as to how much I will have gained, I can’t. And it is my own fault for allowing myself to upset the routine. So do I stick to Tuesday weighing or do I give myself a day to get back into the swing of things?
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