Diary entry: 29th January
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I hate Tuesdays. The day to take stock and plan for the week ahead. I had to be honest with Hannah regarding the past week's Clinutren intake and admit that I had never realised the goal of 1.5 per day. She has also, quite rightly, questioned dinner portions. Her idea of a salmon fillet is rather different from mine. Last night she bought me a couple of pieces from the fishman. God knows what steroids this fish had been on but they were HUGE. So we subjected them to a weighing "sesh" (why should I be the only one to have to endure it) and the scales fell from my eyes. My idea of normal is evidently pretty skewed so I am going to have to resort to weighing things to ensure I am getting as much as I think I am. A further reality check came in the form of the humble potato which (Hannah pointed out) like man, was not meant to dwell alone. But I appreciate the potato only as a protection against famine, except for that, I know of nothing more eminently tasteless.
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“How much cheese is a handful? How much more or less is a cupful? What is the capacity of a glass, a tumbler, or a soup ladle? What is the difference between a suspicion and a pinch? How much more is a good pinch? How much wine is a little, how many olives a few? When a book says a tin of chopped almonds or pomegranate juice what are you supposed to understand by that?” (Elizabeth David)
“How much cheese is a handful? How much more or less is a cupful? What is the capacity of a glass, a tumbler, or a soup ladle? What is the difference between a suspicion and a pinch? How much more is a good pinch? How much wine is a little, how many olives a few? When a book says a tin of chopped almonds or pomegranate juice what are you supposed to understand by that?” (Elizabeth David)
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But seriously, I do have a real problem with portion control. Is it never more than you can lift or no bigger than your head?
But seriously, I do have a real problem with portion control. Is it never more than you can lift or no bigger than your head?
1 comment:
Lizzie -
You are so courageous - I can't even imagine how difficult it must be for you to get a portion control reality check. When my own anorexic daughter was being "refed" it was hard for her to eat large quantities, so we opted for smaller portions of really calorie dense food. It helped in the beginning - and we also introduced some of her fear foods. For example, she had a shake every night made with ice cream and heavy cream. At first, it was really hard for her to drink it, but then one night she looked at me and said - "you know - this is really good" I cried when she said that - it was a glimpse of my real daughter, and not the anorexia. For you, as an adult to be doing this on your own is amazing and difficult. I wish you all the best.
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