Diary entry: 26th January
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I need to write something about what's been happening but I don't really know what. Suffice to say it's better than it was. Things sort of came to a head, burst and we're gradually clearing up the pus. I can't pretend it didn't happen, but in time no doubt I'll forget a bit and things won't seem so raw. I hope we won't just slip back into bad habits, but I'm going to work at preventing that happening. I really hope Barry is not going to assume we can carry on as "normal". He needs to change too - in the way that he deals with this problem. Even if I do have to go into hospital (God forbid) until such time I need his total support in the approach that I'm taking. And I have to tell him what form that support needs to take - in one word of preferably less than one syllable. He cannot know instinctively when to "interfere" and when to butt out, but he'll learn. And it won't be forever. It will get easier.
.
Lunch today was a first and although it felt slightly contrived, we did it and next time will be easier. It is so much more manageable than it was this time last week - it's amazing how you body can get used to things (I've got to keep telling myself this. I'm really struggling with the Clinutren though. I hate to admit it, but I'll use every excuse not to take it. Not sure why, apart from the fact it tastes gross, makes me feel sick and fills me up too much...
.
I need to write something about what's been happening but I don't really know what. Suffice to say it's better than it was. Things sort of came to a head, burst and we're gradually clearing up the pus. I can't pretend it didn't happen, but in time no doubt I'll forget a bit and things won't seem so raw. I hope we won't just slip back into bad habits, but I'm going to work at preventing that happening. I really hope Barry is not going to assume we can carry on as "normal". He needs to change too - in the way that he deals with this problem. Even if I do have to go into hospital (God forbid) until such time I need his total support in the approach that I'm taking. And I have to tell him what form that support needs to take - in one word of preferably less than one syllable. He cannot know instinctively when to "interfere" and when to butt out, but he'll learn. And it won't be forever. It will get easier.
.
Lunch today was a first and although it felt slightly contrived, we did it and next time will be easier. It is so much more manageable than it was this time last week - it's amazing how you body can get used to things (I've got to keep telling myself this. I'm really struggling with the Clinutren though. I hate to admit it, but I'll use every excuse not to take it. Not sure why, apart from the fact it tastes gross, makes me feel sick and fills me up too much...
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