Diary entry: 2nd January
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This is going to be hard. How do I stick to the routine now that I am on my own? When all my instincts are to cut down. I am simply not hungry and I want to feel hungry again. I suppose I just have to keep doing it and perhaps the hunger will return again. If I stick to proper mealtimes and eat proper meals, maybe I’ll get used to it and regain an appetite – not just for food but for living too.
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Well I took my time, but I did it. I was determined to sit down and make myself have exactly the same as I would have done had Barry been here and I did. I need to establish a routine however forced it may seem at first. Gradually it will become a habit and who knows, I may start to enjoy it. Cheese and oatcakes? Yum yum yum.
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What I’m not looking forward to is being weighed tomorrow. I know I have to but it is going to be incredibly hard not to panic when I get confirmation of this weight gain. I’ve got to face it sometimes and reassure myself that it is fine. Just because the scales say something does not alter how I feel. And I do feel better physically. Well sometimes anyway. I didn’t like getting light-headed when we went for a walk the other day, and my hair and skin look pretty crap. But generally I think there is an improvement, and my mood is a bit more stable.
Well I took my time, but I did it. I was determined to sit down and make myself have exactly the same as I would have done had Barry been here and I did. I need to establish a routine however forced it may seem at first. Gradually it will become a habit and who knows, I may start to enjoy it. Cheese and oatcakes? Yum yum yum.
.
What I’m not looking forward to is being weighed tomorrow. I know I have to but it is going to be incredibly hard not to panic when I get confirmation of this weight gain. I’ve got to face it sometimes and reassure myself that it is fine. Just because the scales say something does not alter how I feel. And I do feel better physically. Well sometimes anyway. I didn’t like getting light-headed when we went for a walk the other day, and my hair and skin look pretty crap. But generally I think there is an improvement, and my mood is a bit more stable.
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